Follow up post: Now watch this video.

Healing Begins Video Journal

Questions and Thoughts

So you thought you had to keep this up
All the work that you do
So we think that you're good
And you can't believe it's not enough
All the walls you built up
Are just glass on the outside

**Why do we hide the very things that have made us who we are?

So let 'em fall down
There's freedom waiting in the sound
When you let your walls fall to the ground
We're here now

**Talking about things is good, but it also means facing it head on.

This is where the healing begins, oh
This is where the healing starts
When you come to where you're broken within
The light meets the dark

**The broken parts aren't ever going to get fixed if you keep shoving them in the back of the closet.

Afraid to let your secrets out
Everything that you hide
Can come crashing through the door now
But too scared to face all your fear
So you hide but you find
That the shame won't disappear

**So what, am I supposed to write a stinkin' book or something? Where is the line between being comfortable with sharing your past, and letting it become the only thing you can think/talk about? Talking about it is healthy, but not talking about it can also be healthy.

Sparks will fly as grace collides
With the dark inside of us
So please don't fight
This coming light
Let this blood come cover us
His blood can cover us

**Oh how I long for the day when the past will be gone forever and the past can no longer haunt me!

For with much wisdom comes much sorrow;
the more knowledge, the more grief.

-Ecclesiastes 1:18

NHOP

I have a feeling that Northland House of Prayer is going to become one of my favorite places to go. I'm still a bit skeptical of all of there beliefs, but the one thing I do know is that the worship is AMAZING, and that I am becoming more comfortable with the style. It is so refreshing!

At NHOP last Sunday night I realized how much I am starting to like being there, so I was praying about what to do about my interview at Crackel Barrel the next day. Working as a server there requires being available for one shift every Sunday. If I got the job, I wouldn't be able to go to NHOP (or have all day off from work and school on Sundays). I could hear Jesus telling me, "Be faithful, be faithful," over and over again.

With His words in my mind the next day while I was driving to my interview, I decided not to take the job if Mike (the general manager) offered it to me. And he did offer me the job, which I declined. He also offered to pass my app on to the retail store manager, who I ended up having an interview with ten minutes later, AND got the job!

"In the center of the flame is the safest place to be, this is where I want to be."

Teach me how to speak, teach me how to share.

IHOP/NHOP sort of things always amaze me, getting to see people worshipping God with no reserve. None. It is a beautiful thing to watch, but going from watching to doing is difficult. Why? Well, let me introduce you to this thing called a comfort zone.

Comfort zone. Bubble. Boat (Matthew 14). Safety (but is it really?).

Stupid comfort zone. I retreat to it countless times a day. It's pathetic. It's always there and I don't quite know how to get rid of it, or if I even truly want to.

Oh goodness...